After a long road trip for our family vacation and mid-summer heat settling in, I shouldn’t be surprised that all of this together time is beginning to fuel impatience and irritation. My kids are arguing, tattling on each other and antagonizing one another more. They’re also pushing back with me on basic requests. I get frustrated and bark back at them before sidling over to my calendar to see just how many more weeks we have to go until school starts back up. (Sorry, teachers!) Any of this sound familiar to you?
Here are a few ways I’ve found to put the chill on familial tensions these last few weeks of summer vacation with boredom brewing and tempers bubbling and popping.
Cool off at the movie theater. Your kids will be entertained and you can relax for an hour and a half. If this option is too expensive, borrow a DVD from the library, pop some popcorn, close the curtains and watch a movie from the comfort of home.
Get silly. Nothing defuses irritation like laughter. Play a game, watch a funny video, or share a light-hearted story or a joke. If all else fails, put on some funky music and dance together.
Engage in a creative pursuit. Color or paint together. Draw with sidewalk chalk or paint by number. If your kids love to learn by doing, try a science experiment. For more ideas, check out my post on ParentingSquad.com, 12 Ways to Sneak Learning Into Summertime Fun.
Re-energize with time alone. As a work-at-home mom, the summer months can present challenges with how I prioritize my time and manage distractions. Whenever possible (and since my kids no longer nap), I make it a point to carve out an hour or so of quiet time in the afternoon. My kids and I retreat to our own respective areas. They can color, look at/read books or play independently in their rooms. We also strive to keep bed time the same as during the school year to ensure quality rest.
Feed them. One lesson I learned as a teenager while working as a restaurant hostess: hungry people are grumpy people. Kids (and parents) are no different. Combine an active day with dehydration and hunger and you have a storm rumbling. Pack protein-packed snacks and cold water before you head out. Popsicles have also been known to brighten a gloomy disposition.
Rise a little earlier. I’m better prepared for the day mentally if I’ve had time to have a cup of coffee before my kids rise. When they were little this was virtually impossible because they would always get up at the crack of dawn. But these days, I set my alarm and usually enjoy a half hour to read, answer emails or write.
Hire a sitter. Break up the day by asking a neighborhood teen to babysit for a couple of hours one afternoon. You can run an errand by yourself (bliss) and your kids will probably enjoy the novelty of someone new to spend time with.
Arrange separate playdates. We all need breaks from each other now and then. My kids need time to spend apart from one another. Scheduling individual playdates forces the issue when quiet alone time fails to do the trick. And don’t forget about scheduling a playdate of your own! Periodic date nights with your spouse and a girls night out with friends are definitely in order after playing diplomat and event coordinator all summer long.
Plan a special outing. Sometimes just having an activity to look forward to can calm tensions and encourage an environment of cooperation. Bribery? No way! Incentive? Yes!
Give individual attention. Take time for each of your children. According to Dr. Laura Markham, spending special one-on-one time with kids diminishes sibling conflict because kids feel more loved and accepted for who they are.
Work through conflict.Teaching our kids how to work through their disagreements in a positive way is such a valuable life skill. I found this article about managing sibling conflict on Dr. Markham’s website to be especially helpful.
Tiger photo courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Piyaphon/Asian boy photo courtesy: FreeDigitalPhotos.net by Hinnamsaisuy
