Photo courtesy digitalart.
As someone who has done her fair share of moving around, I’ve had to learn how to approach people I don’t know to start making connections. Networking events used to give me heart palpitations and a stomach-twisting gut-ache. And, attending events where I didn’t know a soul was scarier than getting chased with a chain saw after stumbling through a Halloween haunted house. It wasn’t until I was obligated to attend a wedding reception by myself where the only person I knew was the bride, did I start to grow more confident in my conversation skills. Talk about facing your fears.
I’ve always admired those people who can walk into a situation without knowing a soul and leave with a sense that they’ve made a roomful of new friends. Knowing how to start a conversation with people you don’t know is a valuable skill and you just never know who you could meet by summoning the courage to visit with fellow party-goers.
Even if you’d prefer to spend the cool fall and winter evenings in the comfort of your home cozying up to a favorite TV show or a good book, for many people skipping out isn’t always the wisest option, especially for those work parties where your absence will likely be noted. If dinner parties and after-hours office functions create a certain level of anxiety for you, consider a few of these conversation tips to make the best of your evening
Ask questions. Handed down to me from my mother, a self-professed introvert, one of the best ways to start a conversation with someone you don’t know is to ask questions and listen. People love to talk about themselves and before you know it, you have a conversation going.
Brush up on the news. Prior to the event, peruse the newspaper or Internet or listen to the news highlights on the radio. It’s amazing how a tidbit of news can spark a fascinating conversation with others. Just tread carefully with polarizing topics like — you guessed it — religion and politics.
Discuss popular culture. Nearly everyone has an opinion about popular books, movies and television shows.
Beware of negativity. Remember Debbie Downer from Saturday Night Live? Don’t channel her character! It’s one thing if people ask how you’re coping with a particular situation, but if you don’t know the party-goers very well, keep conversation light and energetic rather than dragging everyone into your personal dramas. Besides isn’t a party supposed to be about forgetting your own problems for a little while and just having a good time?
Take it easy on the toasts. While having a good time is definitely in order, go light on the drinks. Avoid inserting your foot into your mouth by maintaining a sober sense of decorum. It’s one thing to party it up with your buddies and girlfriends, but be careful how much you imbibe at a party that includes your co-workers or people you don’t know very well. That’s a combination that could definitely come back to haunt you. Eat a light meal before you head out and nurse your drink. Too much drinking loosens lips and inhibitions — and besides it’s dangerous if you plan to drive afterwards.
What are some of your secrets for starting a conversation with strangers?
