1.) You teach manners. Even before your kids learned to speak, you taught “please” and “thank you”. You know that manners are the first step toward helping kids learn to treat others politely and respectfully whether they are interacting online or offline, with friends or individuals they don’t know.
2.) You nurture empathy. Empathy plays an enormous role in reducing the chances that a child will bully others. When we empathize we’re able to put ourselves in another’s shoes and understand how they must feel. Read books and watch TV or movies together – check out the Pixar movie “Inside Out,” which characterizes emotions. Highlight real-life empathy building opportunities by labeling emotions. For example: “Ah, poor guy. Jimmy has a pretty bad cold, doesn’t he? I bet he feels miserable. Maybe we can make him a card to cheer him up?”
3.) You take a mindful approach to technology. While technology is a major asset for learning and connecting, it’s no longer beneficial when it distracts us from engaging with those who need our full attention and when it is used to screen out life going on around us. Kids watch how we use technology and follow suit.
4.) You nurture listening skills. You know that a thoughtful communicator listens attentively without allowing screens to distract her from the conversation. You teach listening through role modeling and practice. (For fun ideas on how to tune up listening skills, check out my article in this month’s Kansas City Parent magazine.)
5.) You set boundaries. Too much technology can increase anxiety, depression and even affect sleep. Whether you require a 9 p.m. sign off on all electronics in your home, tech-free dinner time or even reserve an entire screen-free day every week, you teach your family that it’s perfectly acceptable and healthy to have time to yourself away from the distractions of other people’s lives and/or demands on your time. In this way you create sacred space for creativity, reflection, real-time connection and solid sleep!
6.) You model attentiveness. You encourage your kids to notice and experience the world around them. You visit museums/zoos, attend plays/concerts, picnic at parks, ride bikes, play, explore nature, and interact with people in your community.
7.) You’re raising a problem-solver. You allow your child to learn to manage problems like conflict with a sibling, friend or a classmate. Before you step in with solutions, you ask your child to problem-solve ways to handle the situation. While they aren’t fun to sort out at the time, over time kids learn what works and what doesn’t which will be an asset in navigating professional and personal relationships throughout life.
8.) You talk together. Believe it or not, conversation skills are negatively affected by an over-reliance on digital communication. Small talk is challenging for many people and it only gets harder when we don’t practice it. Take opportunities to chit-chat with your kids. Teach them to engage with others. Encourage their curiosity. Share stories with each other. Repeat their favorite stories if they ask. Ask them questions that require reflection and thought or are just entertaining and fun. Want conversation starters delivered to your phone every Monday morning? Sign up for my weekly conversation starters!
Looking for more ways to raise a child who is both a thoughtful and confident communicator? My book Happy, Healthy & Hyperconnected: Raise a Thoughtful Communicator in a Digital World can help.
