“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.”
~Dalai Lama
Between demanding jobs and active families, moms have plenty of little fires to put out on a daily basis. Many of us yearn for simpler, less chaotic days, but let’s get real. Most of us spend our days in the middle of a whirlwind of activity. When we simplify one process, something else quickly moves into the space. Given our society’s penchant for busyness, how is it that some moms no matter how much they have going on seem so happy?
Here are some of their habits:
1. Feel a sense of community. Moms who are more satisfied are more likely to be surrounded by a supportive network of friends and family. Even if you are a self-professed introvert, having friends who you can rely on, trust and laugh with makes a huge difference in your outlook. What may seem like a really big problem in your head, may seem a little smaller after talking it out with your friends.
2. Commit to healthy living. Women who make time to care for their bodies, have a stronger self-image, are more self-confident and have more energy. Exercise, try to get adequate sleep and make healthy food choices to feel your best.
3. Take time for personal pursuits. Moms who take time each week to do something on their own are more fulfilled. Since the chances of finding this time probably won’t magically appear, schedule time alone even if that means arranging for childcare.
4. Have a sense of humor. Family life can be funny. Crazy situations arise that you couldn’t make up and kids say hilarious things. Pay attention and write those nuggets down. Next time you need a lift, read them. Other ideas: hang out with lighthearted friends; watch a funny television show or read books written by funny mom authors like, Blacklisted from the PTA by Lela Davidson and I Just Want to Pee Alone, a compilation of essays from mom bloggers. I personally love Jennifer Weiner’s books, too.
5. Follow a spiritual practice. Studies find that people who lean on an inner belief system are happier. You don’t have to be religious to be spiritual. People often feel a connection to spirituality through helping others, nature, yoga, music, art, personal mediation or journaling.
6. Set boundaries. Moms who are happier make conscious decisions on a daily basis about who and what is allowed into their lives. Switching to this way of thinking is empowering. You don’t have to be harsh or hurtful to accomplish this goal. Politely decline invitations that don’t fit with your priorities. If someone is treating you badly, keep them at arm’s length or move away from the relationship completely. Why devote precious time and energy to activities that don’t interest you and to people who annoy you?
7. Avoid comparison. Chasing off the green-eyed monster can be difficult for the best of us. Strive to leave comparison shopping to shoes, handbags and groceries. There’s always going to be a mom who appears to do everything better, more perfectly. We each have to follow our purpose in our own way. Beware of spending too much time on social media if you’re starting to feel like you don’t measure up. Remember, everyone puts her best self forward online.
8. Have access to good childcare. Every mom needs good, reliable childcare, whether inside or outside the family. You and your partner need breaks together for the health of your marriage. If you or your child struggle with separation, check out my post on ParentingSquad.com for expert advice.
What habits do you follow for increased happiness?
Photos courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net: Piyaphon/Stuart Miles/Tiverylucky
