I’m a perfectionist by nature. Chalk it up to being a first-born child. With my oldest son, I’ve been known to follow instructions and advice to the letter, whether from the pediatrician or teachers. Of course, this means I tend to second-guess my intuition on what’s right for my child and worry over, well, everything––I’m working on that.
With my younger son, I’m more discerning about what I worry about––lucky him!
Besides trusting yourself more, here are three things I’ve learned that may help you, too, if you’re known to stress out over kid issues (and what parent doesn’t from time to time?)
Connect with seasoned moms. Seasoned moms have a way of reminding me of the big picture instead of focusing so much on day-to-day minutia. This weekend, I was with a couple of moms who have already sent children through the grade my son is currently in. They both have younger children in his class. When I worried out loud about the amount of homework, including parent homework, we had to get through each day, they agreed it was a lot, but reminded me to keep my concerns in perspective. If you skip the math computer program one day because your child really should be outside playing in the unseasonal, gorgeous weather or clearly needs a break, will it affect his ability to enter the next grade? Probably not. You know your child best. Take each day one at a time and do the best you can. Your child will be just fine. (Gulp.)
Affirmations. The word “affirmation” might bring up corny images of Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live (click the link for the YouTube video), but affirmations can help you stay grounded. Here’s one I’ve been focusing on lately: “May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.” St. Therese de Liseaux, the Little Flower. True for our children and ourselves. Which leads me to my next point…
Avoid comparisons. I “heart” Pinterest. I really do. But, if I’m feeling at all bad about myself, I avoid it like yesterday’s leftovers. Because then I’ll see all of the clever things other moms are making and doing for their families (have you seen those adorable sandwiches built to look like animals?), and I become overwhelmed. Oh dear, our “elf on the shelf” doesn’t do very creative things like write on the mirrors in shaving cream or get held hostage by Lego ninjas. My kids seem slightly uneasy with the elf anyway so I keep him quarantined to the main floor of the house, and he usually appears in the tree, sitting on some books or on top of the curtains. And, other than occasionally cutting the crusts off, I pretty much never make clever shapes out of my kids’ sandwiches.
So while our elf is relatively uninspiring and my children’s meals pretty unimaginative, I’m sure you’ll understand that I’m a more seasoned mom now, and I’m keeping homework, child-rearing and this holiday season in proper perspective.
After all, my family and I are exactly where we are meant to be.
Image courtesy PhotoBucket
