Holding Down the Fort…Sort Of

I’ve written before about the challenges of being the full-time parent in charge when a spouse frequently travels for work. After reading Abby Green’s blog post, “The Week in a Life of a Stay-at-Home Mom” on TheBump.com, I was reminded of some of the crises that always seemed to erupt when my children were small and my husband was off on a business trip.

Here are a few of the more exciting moments I experienced while staying home with a preschooler and a toddler.

• Run upstairs to get something. Two minutes later, I hear blood curdling screams and my 3-year-old yelling for me. Blood is shooting out of my 18-month-old’s head after hitting the stone fireplace mantel. Off we go to the ER for stitches.

• Set up my kids to play in the basement. Leave the room to go to the bathroom. Come back in to find my son (yes, the 18-month-old again) sitting in the dog food bin washing his face in oily dog kibble. The dog is sitting there watching him. She turns to me when I walk in with an expression that says, “I think we’ve crossed a line here.”

• While standing in the kitchen watching my children, my 3-year-old pulls an apron (why do we have an apron anyway?) hanging on a metal shelf. Pulls the shelf down onto his head. Off to the ER for stitches.

• I decide to retrieve my newspaper off of my icy driveway. Don’t notice the black ice on the step and land with a nice thud on the back of my head. Find a friend to drive me to the ER to get checked for a concussion.

• Battle with both children to get them to take a nap. Think I’ve beaten the odds when I hear strange sounds coming from upstairs. Check it out and see my son has used vaseline to channel Van Gogh on the walls. Glad it wasn’t the diaper this time.

• Playing with my children in the living room of our new house. Husband in Chicago. Soapy water is flowing in a river out of the laundry room all over the wood floors.

• I’m walking the house trying to soothe my crying baby while holding back my own tears. Why won’t the damn dog stop barking? I open the back door to find two rough looking men standing in my yard. I ask them what the hell they’re doing. I’m in no mood for trespassers. One looks at the ground and the other says they are there to fix the fence that I called about two months ago. I yell at them for not letting me know they were there so I could pull my dog in. Baby continues to scream. They quickly finish the job and leave the house where the crazy lady lives.

• My youngest is my gymnast. I’m in the kitchen and turn around to see him (he’s 4 now) hanging upside down like a bat from the top of the fireplace mantel. I say in an eerily calm voice as I move toward him, to get down right away envisioning a much worse ER visit. Phew. Crisis averted.

• Finally get my children to bed for the evening. Pour myself a glass of wine and go upstairs to run my hands along the beautiful power suits I used to wear. Yes, life is more unpredictable than ever, but no, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

What are your more memorable parenting moments?

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